“You are so smart!” There is a pretty great chance that we have all said this to our kids at one time or another after they’ve gotten a good grade or completed a hard task. But what if they didn’t get a good grade? What if they couldn’t complete the hard task? Encouraging a growth mindset in our kids helps children build self-esteem while increasing their ability to bounce back from failure.
What is a Growth Mindset in Kids
In its simplest form, a growth mindset in kids is believing they have the capability to grow and learn. With a growth mindset, kids believe in themselves by believing in their efforts. Instead of thinking “I can’t tie my shoes” a child will think “I don’t know how to tie my shoes, yet”. And what a powerful message that is!
Children have a natural sense of wonder. They question the world around them. They want to explore, learn and try new things. If we can encourage a growth mindset from a young age, kids can grow up with increased self-esteem, more resilience, and a hunger for continued learning – – all of which help to decrease anxiety and stress.
3 Tips for Encouraging a Growth Mindset in Kids
A growth mindset sounds so simple, right? We are humans capable of learning, after all. So how do we do it? Where do we start? The good news is that there are endless opportunities throughout our day to help encourage our children. Here are 3 simple tips to help you develop a growth mindset in your kids:
1. Model a Growth Mindset to Your Kids
Children intrinsically learn. They watch their environment, their parents, their surroundings. The best way to help our kids build a growth mindset is to build and model our own.
Instead of a fixed mindset where we think/say something like “I can’t bake a cake,” we can use a growth mindset and say to our kids “I can’t bake a cake, yet, but I’m going to try.” “Yet” is a powerful little word that packs a punch.
“I can’t do this.” vs “I can’t do this, yet.”
“I don’t have the answers.” vs “I don’t have the answers, yet.”
Can you hear the difference just 1 little word makes? I’m not talking about massive changes or even false positivity. You can model growth mindset by allowing yourself the chance to learn, try new things and to even fail. Failure is simply an opportunity for continued learning.
2. Praise Your Kids For Their Effort (Not the Outcome)
This is a great time to work on tweaking the way you praise your kids. We want to put less focus on the outcome and more into the effort.
If your child did his homework, spent time reviewing notes and studying, but didn’t get the desired grade, is he a failure? You’re probably not going to say “Great job on the F”. So what is your child left to think? Does a bad grade make him a failure? Of course not!
When we praise the effort a child makes, he/she can feel and see their value regardless of the outcome – – “I’m so proud of how hard you worked preparing for that test.”
When we praise a child for the effort they put into a task, we are helping them to build an inner voice that values hard work. Our goal is in learning. It isn’t perfection. When we give praise for the effort, we are building our child’s self-esteem and self-worth. Their value isn’t in perfection – – it’s in their hard work.
3. Allow For Struggle and Embrace Mistakes as Learning Opportunities
It can be difficult for parents to watch their children struggle. It’s easy to want to swoop in and fix a problem. But it’s important that your child learns to experience failure. It’s important to allow your child to make mistakes so that they can learn and grow from those mistakes.
Failure is simply a part of learning. We have to learn what works and what doesn’t. If your child studied for hours but failed a test, he/she is not a failure. You would use that situation as an opportunity to learn – – learn about how your child studies, how your child receives information, etc. It’s an opportunity to look for ways to improve.
Mistakes are the areas we can learn and improve upon. We want to help our kids learn from their mistakes. We want them to take risks and look for new adventures. We are always learning. Let’s help foster that learning by seeking growth instead of perfection.
Growth Mindset and Self-Esteem In Kids
Children face all sorts of obstacles today that didn’t exist when most of us were younger. Social media today presents all sorts of problems with self-esteem, bullying and unrealistic images.
When we help our kids develop a growth mindset, we are helping to boost their self-esteem and increase their resilience in this world. Instead of challenges they learn to see opportunities. Their negative thoughts give way to more positive thoughts. And when the fear of being wrong is eliminated, they can grow to be who they are supposed to be – – happy, healthy and confidant young adults.
Therapy For Kids In Washington, PA
If your child is experiencing anxiety or sadness, or if you’re concerned about your child’s mental health, please feel free to either call me at (724) 503-6670 or email me at admin@inthenowcounseling.org.
In my office, your child can express his/her thoughts/feelings/beliefs without being judged or shamed. Your child will be given the time to process his or her emotions. My office in Washington, PA is warm and inviting. It’s a place where we sit, grab a drink, relax and just talk.
If you would like to get to know me a little better, you can also contact me on Facebook and Instagram, too.
