Every one of us is worthy and valued. We learn our self-worth and value early on from those around us – – mainly our family. As parents, there are many simple ways we can help to build our child’s self-esteem starting at a very young age. Let’s look at 4 simple tips you can use to help build your child’s self-esteem each and every day.
Healthy Self-esteem in your Child
Your child’s self-esteem is how he/she sees him/herself and their abilities. A child’s positive self-esteem is built from love, support and encouragement. We can also help our children by teaching and showing them kindness, empathy and gratitude.
Self-esteem can ebb and flow. Working to build your child’s self-esteem will have lasting impact on your child’s overall mental health and well being.
4 Simple Tips for Building Self-esteem in Children
1. Let Your Child Make Choices
It can be so easy to tell our kids what to do, what to wear, where to go, how to act. Sometimes the best thing for our children is for us to step back and let our kids make their own age appropriate choices, and sometimes, mistakes.
From a young age (I’m talking toddlers!) kids can begin to make choices and have a basic understanding that our choices have consequences. Choices equal power. We don’t have to take all the power away from our kids. Let them make choices!
Young toddlers can choose their own clothes (you may have to help with weather appropriate options). Let your pre-schooler pick his/her snack from the grocery store. Allow your elementary aged child to chose his/her after school activity. There are always areas where we can step back and let our kids make their own choices.
If your child decides to wait for the bus without a hat in winter, then he /she may learn that it’s really cold in the morning! Actions have consequences. Learning this simple fact at a young age can help with making bigger, more impactful, choices later on.
There are ways you can allow your child to make age appropriate decisions every day. And each day, with each decision made, your child will grow a bit more confident.
2. Let Your Child Help around the House
Most of us feel value in our work. We can look at what we’ve accomplished and feel good about ourselves and a job well done. The same is true for kids. You can let your child add value and contribute in small, meaningful ways, each and every day in your home.
Your child can feed the pets. Or set the table at dinner. How about help prepare for the meal? Young kids can chop soft fruits while older kids can chop veggies. Let your child add real value by helping in the kitchen.
Kids can make their beds, clean their rooms, wipe down sinks and mirrors. Small children can sweep the kitchen floor and older children can vacuum.
Allow your children to help in the garden by pulling weeds or watering plants. Older children may be able to use the lawnmower.
There are simple ways to help your child boost his/her self-esteem every day in the home. Help your child by allowing them to help in the home.
3. Play with your Kids
This one may sound simple, or maybe even silly. But when you think about it, how much time did you play with your child today? Did you play at all with your child today?
We are busy every day. And that will probably never end. So instead of saying “I’ll play later,” play now! If you have to, schedule 30 minutes of play time with your child. Playing with your child tells them they are important to you. And when we feel important to someone, we can feel important to ourselves, too.
So before you sit down at night, grab a board game, paper and crayons or some cards and sit down to play with your child. Does your child need to burn off some energy? Grab your shoes (better yet, go barefoot!) and play tag or hide and seek. Think back to the best summers of your young life and give your kids that simple, carefree time of playing, laughing and being loved.
4. Give Unconditional Love
You may be thinking, of course I love my child. After all, you probably wouldn’t be reading this if you didn’t love your child, right?! How we express our love can impact our children’s self-esteem.
Do you praise your child for a good grade? Hitting a home run? Performing in the school play? Most of us do! But do you know that if we only give praise for a job well done, our children can learn that their value and worthiness are directly linked to how “good” they are or how much they achieve? Your child may link your love to their accomplishments. And what happens when they fail? Does your child know you love him/her in failure, too?
Make sure to tell your child your love isn’t based on success or achievements. Let your child know you love him/her no matter what happens, good or bad.
Praise you child for his/her effort and not just the outcome. If your child works hard and doesn’t get a good grade, praise the effort. It can look something like “You worked really hard on preparing for that test. I’m proud of you.” These small comments, these little moments, will help to influence how your child sees him/herself because your child will feel loved as a person, and not because he/she is “smart” or “fast” or “pretty”.
Your Child’s Self-esteem
There are lots of ways to help build your child’s self-esteem. These 4 tips are simple strategies that you can use every day to help boost your child’s self-esteem and self-worth. The more confident our child feels inside the home, the more confident he/she can feel outside of the home, too. And this self-worth will translate into better handling of life’s future pressures, too.
Child Therapists, Washington, PA
If you are are worried about your child, we understand. There is so much pressure today for children and parents, alike. As child therapists, we understand what kids today are dealing with.
If you think your child could benefit from therapy, or if you have any questions or would like to get to know us a little better, please call (724) 503-6670 or email us at admin@inthenowcounseling.org.
Our therapy office is located in Washington, PA. We also have therapy virtually, as well. If you have any concerns for your child’s mental health, please don’t hesitate to contact us! We are here are for you and your child.
You can also talk to us on Facebook and Instagram, too.
