Holidays can be stressful times for adults. But they can be just as stressful for kids and teens, alike. Increased stress and anxiety are major players in why kids misbehave on holidays.
Why Kids Misbehave on Holidays
There are a number of reasons why kids misbehave on holidays. However, it generally comes down to stress and anxiety. Why are stress and anxiety so high? Several reasons…
Your stress is high, and your kids can feel it, too.
Your kids pick up on your stress level. Yes, the holidays are stressful times for many families. But, if you’re wanting your children to relax, you have to set a good example.
Kids feel the change in schedule, the change in their standard routine. Thanksgiving meals, visiting family and extended time off of school can leave kids feeling uneasy. Then they head back to school with the hype of Christmas approaching followed by more routine busters.
Your stress is high for those same reasons, plus more. Do your best to manage your stress and anxiety prior to the holiday season: say “no” to some activities/events that you don’t enjoy, release yourself from the weight of the “perfect” holiday (it’s not real), and allow for down time.
Talk to your kids about stress management. You can learn together. Work on calm breathing exercises, start having alone time/quiet time for when anxiety is running high, journal your thoughts and have your kids color, write, or draw, and/or get outside and go for a walk.
Talk to your kids about how they are feeling, if they have any thoughts or worries, and how you can help them. Be open and honest. And remember, it’s okay to take time for you. If you need time, go for that walk alone, get some quiet time alone. Talk to your spouse/partner about sharing responsibilities so that you each get what you need.
Family members give extra attention which can put pressure (stress) on kids.
Holidays are a great time to catch up with extended family. However, well-meaning adults can produce streams of questions for kids and teens about what they’re up to, what classes they’re taking, what sports or activities they’re involved in, and on and on.
For many kids and teens, the barrage of questions and attention is just too much. You can help alleviate some of this stress by talking to your kids about what to expect at the event.
Family gatherings can create a myriad of overwhelming experiences. Your kids may be hugged and kissed without their express permission. Additionally, their personal space is invaded with the volume of people or attention. Kids are told what to wear and made to dress up. They are expected to take family photos and told how to look and when to smile. Their movement is restricted by long gatherings, meals, and unfamiliar locations. They are told when to eat and expected to eat unfamiliar foods at varying times.
Some adults may not register these as anything but normal. However, to many kids these are all very real and very uncomfortable situations that heightens their stress and anxiety.
It may help by laying out what the day looks like, ahead of time. You can go over questions the child may be asked. Talk about who may be there and how they are related. Discuss what behaviors are expected from them and what they can expect. Also, go over what they don’t have to accept. You can decide together what behavior is expected from your child.
The holidays won’t be perfect. Your kids may misbehave some. They are kids, after all. And they are only capable of so much.
But, your holidays can be full of joy and laughter. Don’t forget to enjoy the time you have with your kids and teens. Slow down this holiday season and focus on the joy with your family.
Therapy for Kids and Teens in Canonsburg, PA
Are you concerned about your child or teen? If you have concerns over your child’s stress or anxiety, or if you would like to get to know us a little better, please call us at (724) 503-6670 or email us at admin@inthenowcounseling.org for help.
