If your anxiety has been increasing as we approach Thanksgiving, you may be wondering why. Or, you may not realize that Thanksgiving is the cause for your increase in stress. Maybe you feel stress around Christmas. But Thanksgiving? Why is Thanksgiving so stressful?
Many people feel anxious about Thanksgiving get togethers. Large groups of family and changing dynamics can play a role in the tense, anxious feelings that lead up to Thanksgiving day.
Trying to please everyone on Thanksgiving is stressful.
The gathering itself may not be the cause of stress. It’s more likely your expectations of how the event should unfold is causing the worry.
Many of us get caught up in a Norman Rockwell frame of mind where we picture the event in perfect sequence. Perfect family, perfect food, perfect manners and conversations.
Life never unfolds in such a picturesque way.
Our perception of Thanksgiving may add to the stressful nature of the holiday.
Family dynamics are ever changing. Kids grow up and move out, marriages start and end, and everyone continues to age.
You mother/grandmother may not be able to host, clean, and cook like she had in years past. Siblings may not make it in for the holiday due to work or location. Thanksgiving 2023 won’t look like Thanksgiving 1990.
We can find ourselves reflecting on years past and realize that our current situation does not bring the happiness we felt decades earlier.
We may be in a different situation than we anticipated, or we may not have achieved what we’d set out to accomplish. Family members will ask what’s going on in your life and it may feel like an attack or an interview.
All of these situations can lead to a stressful Thanksgiving.
Manage your expectations this year to reduce stress on Thanksgiving.
You can never please everyone. And pleasing everyone isn’t really the spirit of Thanksgiving, anyway.
This year, try letting go of the Norman Rockwell holiday and try gratitude instead. We don’t need perfection for gratitude. Find the freedom in accepting the holiday as it is, without the hype.
Be honest with how much you can take on.
What if this holiday season, 2023, we try to be honest with how much we can take? Doing too much, taking on too much, can throw every plan out of order.
Acknowledge your strengths and your limitations and work within them. If you don’t enjoy Thanksgiving due to being up at 3 am wrestling the raw flesh of your future dinner, then don’t take on that responsibility. Delegate! Ask for help. Maybe this year everyone pitches in.
Make room for your own joy this Thanksgiving.
When we let go of perfect, we can achieve happiness, or even joy.
If you don’t enjoy cooking all the food and doing dishes, ask for help. If you’d rather go for a walk than watch football, grab your coat and head for the outdoors.
When the gathering, or multiple gatherings, seems like too much, make this the year you decide to step back and limit the time you spend with your family. Talk to your spouse/family and come up with a plan that works for you.
Have a plan for Thanksgiving that isn’t stressful. Make a plan that brings you joy.
Therapy for Women in Canonsburg, Pa
It can be overwhelming to consistently put other people’s needs before our own. It’s okay to put yourself first and find joy for you.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed and stressed, take time for you and seek therapy. Therapy is a safe place for you to be yourself, without judgement or criticism.
If you are in the Canonsburg, PA area and have been considering therapy, please call (724) 503-6670 or email at admin@inthenowcounseling.org.
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