The holidays are typically viewed as a joyful time of year. For some, however, the holidays bring up feelings of anxiety, stress, loneliness, and sadness. If you’ve ever questioned why you are not excited for the holidays, you aren’t alone.
Even if you love the holidays, it can still be easy to feel overwhelmed and exhausted. The demands on your time and finances can lead you to feel less than excited for the holidays.
Being together with family can be a gift, but often it’s complicated. Unresolved issues have a way of coming back up. There can be reminders and triggers of past hurts. We may feel pressure, whether perceived or real, to be or feel a certain way – – you have to put on a happy face whether you feel happy or not, or you have to be social when you are naturally introverted.
Expectations run high during the holiday season, and if we don’t set boundaries, we can be left overwhelmed, burnt out, or feeling empty.
How to Set Boundaries and Feel Excited for the Holidays
If you are not feeling excited for the holidays, you’re not alone. There are some ways to help you through this holiday season so you can move forward without the stress and overwhelm.
Set realistic expectations this holiday season.
The holidays seem to be getting bigger and bigger. If you’re on social media, I’m sure you’ve seen houses decorated with 6 Christmas trees, kitchens that can rival a Hallmark movie set, and unparalleled “joy” from influencers.
You don’t have to compete! This season, set realistic expectations. You don’t have to attend every party (you don’t have to attend any party if that brings you comfort). You don’t have to host elaborate dinners, extensive decorations, or even have a spotless house.
Make a list of what you want out of this holiday, and then edit it with a more realistic eye. What can you eliminate or change so that you can enjoy the holiday instead of endure it?
Don’t put all of your holiday focus into 1 day.
What if instead of building up to the 1 big holiday (whichever holiday that is for you), you tried enjoying the moments in between?
Instead of having a perfectly clean house on Christmas with a full spread of fantastic cuisine and the “perfect” gift for each “perfect” guest, you spread those goals out?
Keep a tidy house, but don’t make it spotless.
Have a few people over for a dinner, or dessert and appetizers.
Forgo gifts and spend time with the people you love.
It’s easier to enjoy the holidays if we can allow ourselves to be filled with smaller micro-joys. Meet a friend for coffee. Go for a walk. Window shop and enjoy the decorations with no intention to buy.
When we spread out our focus, we can feel joy for longer, and the let down after the holiday doesn’t feel quite as drastic.
Set a realistic budget to feel excited about the holidays.
The financial strain of overspending can be crippling for some people over the holiday season. This year, set a realistic budget so you can feel excited for the holidays.
You don’t have to buy bigger and bigger each year. Maybe this is the year you scale down on quantity, or price. Find a realistic budget that doesn’t put pressure on you and stick to it.
You may find that the holidays are far more enjoyable when the dollar signs have been removed.
Not Feeling Excited for the Holidays
It’s not uncommon to feel apprehension going into the holiday season. Take some time for you and think about what your really want out of this holiday.
Therapy for Women in Canonsburg, PA
If you’re feeling stressed, anxious or sad, take time for you this holiday and seek therapy. Therapy is a safe place for you to be yourself without judgement or criticism.
If you are in the Canonsburg, PA area and have been considering therapy, please call (724) 503-6670 or email us at admin@inthenowcounseling.org. You can learn more about us here.
