If you’ve ever wondered what traits are present in a healthy relationship, you are in the right place!
I have been married for 28 years to my high school sweetheart. I’m not going to lie and say everything has been wonderful or that we never argue. I don’t think anyone can. If they do, they are lying (or in denial). The fact is, marriage is hard at times. There will be ups and downs.
Challenges and blessings are not what determines the health of a relationship. It’s the people in the relationship.
Do you know what makes a relationship “healthy”? Here are 8 basic traits that, when present, can create a healthy relationship.
1) Safety
Your home should be your haven. Your relationship should be your safe place. You should feel love, safety and respect. Your partner should know your boundaries and they should be respected.
2) Trust and Trustworthiness
Sometimes the phrase “I trust you” is thrown around with little meaning. But trust? It’s big. To truly trust someone means to have a firm belief in their character. It means believing in their strength. Trust is developed over time. Trust is gained when someone shows themselves to be reliable. To be present. To show up for you.
Trust isn’t to be given blindly. Trust is earned.
3) You Have a Voice. And it’s Both Heard and Respected.
It’s important in a relationship, in all relationships, to speak your mind. It’s equally important that your words and your feelings are heard. And respected.
It can be incredibly damaging to speak from your heart only to have those words dismissed.
If your thoughts and feelings are so easily dismissed, what is your partner saying about you? Are you easily dismissed? NO. Your voice matters. You matter.
In a healthy relationship, you can talk freely without repercussions.
4) You Can Disagree, and That is Okay
Do you argue with your partner? The answer to this should absolutely be “yes”.
We each have our own needs and wants. We have our own opinions. Being in a healthy relationship means being able to share your views, opinions, and feelings, and if there is disagreement, you can do it respectfully, and without retribution. You should be able to disagree without fear of reprisal.
In a healthy relationship, you can disagree with your partner without backlash.
5) Encouragement to be You
Marriage does not mean the end of your life long goals. It does not mean the end to “you” time. Your partner should be your cheerleader and ally.
A healthy relationship means supporting each other’s goals throughout life.
Do you want to train for a marathon? In a healthy relationship, your spouse will wake up extra early with the kids on Saturday so you can go out for your long run (by the way, Bravo! Running has never been my strong suit).
Are you feeling miserable in your career? A healthy relationship will give you the support and encouragement to make a change.
Are you feeling tired? Or frustrated? In a healthy relationship, “me time” is prioritized for both of you.
6) Intimacy, Not Just Sex
Intimacy is the closeness we share with our partner. It’s far more than just sex. Intimacy creates a feeling of closeness and acceptance for who we are.
Communication plays a large role in the level of intimacy within a relationship. Communication can be a deep, personal conversation.
Don’t underestimate the importance of simplicity, though. It can also be as simple as “Thank you” or “I’m sorry”.
There is more to intimacy than just words though. Actions are crucial as well.
Taking time out to be alone together can strengthen your relationship. It’s not always easy, I know. But it is important to the health of your relationship.
Developing intimacy in a relationship takes time. Maybe you feel like you’ve lost some of what you used to have. It can be rekindled.
Intimacy takes time and work. In a healthy relationship, both partners will work at creating the intimacy they need.
7) Sharing Responsibility in the Household
A healthy relationship has two equal partners.
In a healthy relationship, daily tasks are shared so that neither partner ends up run down, defeated, or just plain miserable.
8) Happiness
This one is kind of simple, but sadly, overlooked. Do you feel happy?
In a healthy relationship, the couple can laugh together. There is kindness and support.
Knowing Traits of a Healthy Relationship
Knowing what traits to look for in a healthy relationship is a great start to improving your own relationship. It’s also a great way to look at and assess new or future relationships.
A healthy relationship takes work. It may not always be perfect, but you should feel safe, trusted, heard, uplifted, encouraged, close, supported and happy.
Talking truly does help. Talk to your spouse. Talk to your partner. Work together.
If you have any questions or would like to get to know me a little better, please call (724) 503-6670 or email me at admin@inthenowcounseling.org. You can also find me on Instagram and Facebook.
This was really helpful. Thanks!
I’m glad you found it helpful:)