So many of us are living an overwhelmed, overworked, tired, life. Mothers especially, are expected to be “on” all the time. But we can’t be “on” at all times. Our minds and bodies need to rest for both mental and physical health. If intellectually we know that relaxation is essential, then why is it so many of us can’t relax without the feeling of guilt?
Have you ever looked forward to relaxing and when the moment comes, you begin to panic about what you’re not doing instead? When we try to relax, when we try to clear our minds, it can allow for a myriad of intrusive thoughts to race through. Many of us keep busy just to keep our minds occupied so those intrusive thoughts can’t break through. But this isn’t healthy. We simply can’t go on without a break.
Finding a Healthy Balance of Work and Relaxation
Do you feel you have to earn the right to relax? If you get “X Y and Z” done, do you feel that then, and only then, you have the right to rest?
There is no right way to relax. And there is no amount of accomplishment required to earn rest. Instead of justifying relaxation with what you have or haven’t accomplished, try listening to your body instead.
You deserve, and need, to relax. Resting won’t look the same for everyone, just as productivity doesn’t look the same for everyone. Instead, find a balance that works for you.
While guilt associated with relaxation is common, it isn’t healthy or productive. If you’re trying to relax but feelings of guilt creep in, stay in the moment. Don’t allow your mind to wander to what you aren’t doing. Ground yourself in the here and now. Stay in that moment.
If you find it helpful, remind yourself that you need to relax and unwind at times. Everyone needs to relax. You deserve to relax.
Why Can’t I Relax Without Guilt?
Do you feel guilt if you aren’t constantly busy? It’s okay to be still. It’s okay to quiet your body and mind.
Take a moment to slow down and breathe. Think about what is really preventing you from being still. Is it truly your to-do list or your job or your family? Or is there a negative inner-voice controlling your ability to relax?
You may feel as though you don’t deserve rest. You may feel like you aren’t enough or that you haven’t accomplished enough. Your self-worth is not directly tied to your productivity. You ARE enough.
Therapy for Women in Washington, PA
Feeling overwhelmed and exhausted happens to all of us. Take some time where you can find it. You matter.
If you have been struggling to quiet your mind or relax, or if you have any questions or would like to get to know me a little better, please call (724) 503-6670 or email me at admin@inthenowcounseling.org.
