Is he “The One”? Many of us have asked this question, whether to ourselves or to a friend. How do you know for sure? Is there a way to know? Is there a way to pick the right partner?
Unfortunately, there is no way to know for sure how things will turn out in the end. Lives change course, people change, sometimes for the better, sometimes not. While we can never know for sure if he’s “The One”, there are traits you can look look for that can help you pick the right partner.
Traits to Help Pick the Right Partner
1. Communication
Look for a partner with open communication. The key to every healthy relationship is communication. Can he/she share their feelings and needs? How does this person manage conflict? A person who can communicate openly will have a better chance of having a healthy relationship.
2. Honesty
Trust is also key in a healthy relationship, and you can’t build trust without honesty. Is this a person that is open and honest?
3. Validates Your Feelings
Sometimes, after the fact, we can look at a failed relationship and we can see the missed signs that should have signaled the relationship wasn’t right. Sometimes that signal points to a person who is dismissive to any feelings that differ from theirs.
Does this person validate your feelings? Or does he/she dismiss them because they don’t share those feelings?
4. Shows Gratitude
Gratitude is more than just saying “thank you”. Look for someone who shows gratitude in small gestures, not just big ones. Does this person recognize the work you put into an outing or making dinner? Does this person give you his/her full attention when you’re together, or are they staring at their phone?
Gratitude helps couples feel connected. And a connected couple can last.
5. There for You
Is this person “there for you”? It’s easy to support a person through happiness and excitement. But what about when life gets hard? Will this person be there through cancer? Can they handle a newborn crying for hours? Will they buckle under the stress of unemployment?
It’s easy to be present for the wins. Will this person be there when life is hard?
6. Supports and Encourages
We can do amazing things when we feel the support of the people who love us. Will this person be there to cheer you on when you decide to go back to school? Is he/she the type of person that sees your dreams and encourages you to go after those dreams?
Or, is he/she the type of person that sees your dreams as time of away from them? Will this person hold you back?
In a healthy relationship, both partners want what is best for each other. They lift each other up, not drag them down.
7. Fun and Happiness
This one may seem obvious but it’s important. Do you have fun together? Is there laughing and happiness when you’re together? Do you spend quality time together and do you enjoy that time together?
No matter how long a couple is together, it’s important to make time for fun and happiness.
Pick the Right Partner
While none of these traits will guarantee you success in a relationship, these 7 are a great place to start. But what is equally important to finding a partner with these traits is – – Do you possess these 7 traits? A healthy relationship involves 2 people working together to resolve conflict and communicate. One person can’t do it alone.
So when you’re trying to pick the right partner, make sure that you too are working on these traits to give your relationship the best chance for health and happiness.
Couples Counseling in Washington, PA
Couples counseling isn’t for married couples only. Whether you’re dating, engaged, or in a relationship, counseling can help you find ways to resolve conflict and help you feel close to your partner again.
Learning better ways to communicate is always effective. And marriage/couples counseling is a great place to start.
If your relationship is struggling, please call us (724) 503-6670 or email us at admin@inthenowcounseling.org.
