Parenting is hard. We feel guilt over what we do and what we don’t do. Looking at other moms, we wonder why they make it look easy. We compare ourselves, our homes, our kids, and oftentimes we are left feeling inadequate. Why do we do this? What if we stop trying to be a perfect mom (hint: it doesn’t exist) and instead, try to be a happier mom?
3 Steps to a Happier Mom
We could take a deep dive into happiness, mindfulness, and the purpose of it all. However, sometimes we just need a quick little boost to reset ourselves and move on. This is your boost!
1. Put Yourself First on Occasion
You do so much for everyone around you. You make sure everyone else’s needs are met and then there is little left for you.
This needs to change. Do you know how to be happier? Do something for you! Not vacations or spas. I’m not talking about escapes from your life. I’m talking about living your life as it is and making some choices that bring you joy. If your kids want to have friends over but you’re tired, say no. If your kids want pancakes at 7 am on Saturday but you need sleep, put your head back down knowing they can eat cereal.
There are little moments in each day that you can take back and give to yourself. You don’t need to view it as selfish. It’s finding joy in your every day. It’s life! And it can be a happy one.
2. Teach the Kids to “Do The Stuff”
Step 1 can be better accomplished when you focus on step 2.
It can be so tempting to just “do it yourself” because it’s easier, faster, simpler. But what you’re doing in saving that 1 minute now is creating years of added work for you.
Instead of pouring your child’s cereal everyday, teach him/her how to do it. Let your child clean up the spilled milk and vacuum up the Cheerios. Those are all valuable life lessons. The more you can encourage your children to “do” now, the less you have to do later and the happier you’ll be as a mom.
Do you want to still be telling your 20 year old to clean up his/her room or put his/her plate in the dishwasher? If you teach and encourage those behaviors now, you can free yourself of it later.
3. Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff
Social media has us believing that a happy life is gorgeous vacations, perfectly dressed children, and pristine houses. Happiness isn’t in perfection. Life is made up of all of those little moments throughout each day. So don’t sweat the small stuff!
If your child misses a few spelling words, oh well! Look how many he/she got right. If your car gets scratched, at least everyone is safe. We can get too hung up on all the things that “went wrong”. Instead, don’t fret about those little nuances that won’t make a difference in a year. Look at what went well instead. Focus on the good.
When we focus on the good moments in life (instead of stressing about the “bad”), we can retrain our brain to really see the joy that’s around us. If we see the joy in the little moments, we can feel and live a happier life as a mom.
Therapy (for a Happier Mom) in Canonsburg, PA
We can get dragged down in the monotony of life, especially as caregivers. If you’ve been putting yourself last, it can seem like there is no easy road to happiness. But it doesn’t have to be that way. You matter. Take time for you. Talking helps.
If you have any questions or would like to get to know me a little better, please call (724) 503-6670 or email me at admin@inthenowcounseling.org.
