Relationships are full of excitement and fun in the beginning. Everything is new and everything your partner says and does is fascinating. But that excitement fades as life happens. With marriage comes work, bills, houses, chores, kids, finances… On and on it goes until one day you realize you are quite bored in your marriage. Luckily, it’s pretty common. And even better yet, there are a couple of simple tricks to help you beat boredom in your marriage.
Did he change? Or did you? There is a good chance that neither of you changed. You may view life differently, and that’s okay. Your needs may have changed, and that’s okay too.
There were qualities in your spouse that you found endearing once upon a time. You loved him/her, and as a result, chose to marry. Those qualities are probably still there. However, when we focus on what we don’t like, we lose sight of what we have right in front of us.
So if you’re feeling bored in your marriage, you may have to look inward. The problem isn’t really with your spouse. If you want to beat boredom in your marriage, there are two simple tricks that will help you see through a different lens to a happier marriage.
Beat Boredom in Your Marriage
1. Stop Focusing on What’s Lacking
It can be very easy to focus on what we don’t like or on what’s missing. It’s all too common to see the flaws and the missteps.
Instead, focus on what you love about him/her. Put your mind on the areas that make you happy. Think about the little things he/she does that make your life better/easier/happier/simpler.
When you start to think about the ways he makes you happy, tell him! Express your gratitude in more ways than just saying ‘thank you’.
When you express gratitude, you may find yourself happier than before, simply by focusing on the good.
2. Look Inward
If you’re trying to beat boredom in your marriage, you may have to look no further than within yourself.
Do you have unfilled dreams? Are you experiencing sadness or anxiety? Are you questioning your own choices in life that have led you to where you are now?
It’s not too late to fulfill a dream or change your path. Jobs change, people move. Where do you want to be at this time next year? If you have dreams, share them with your spouse. If you have unfulfilled needs, share them!
Happiness comes from within. Your spouse isn’t the fix for your happiness. You must do that. Think about what you want in life. What may be lacking. When you find the internal source of the discontent, make a plan to improve the situation. Talk to your spouse. Reach out to a friend or family member. Contact a therapist. Talking really does help.
Couples Therapy In Washington, PA
Have you considered couples counseling? Counseling can help you find ways to resolve conflict and help you feel closer to your partner again.
If you have any questions or would like to get to know us a little better, please call (724) 503-6670 or email us at admin@inthenowcounseling.org. You can also reach us on Facebook and Instagram, too.
