Gift giving should be an act of love. Lately though buying gifts can feel more like pressure, overwhelm, and a financial burden that we simply can’t shoulder. If you are wondering if it’s possible to let your family know you won’t be buying gifts this year, the answer is yes. You absolutely can.
Giving a gift should be something you want to do. And while you may want to give gifts, if the expense has just gotten too high to keep it manageable, it’s okay to reduce. When you add in the number of people on your growing list, if your gift giving cost has become more burden and less joy, then it’s time for a change.
Some of us love buying gifts. For others, we are so stuffed with toys/clutter/clothes that we don’t want to buy gifts because we don’t want/need anything in return. For some of us, buying gifts for family has gotten so expensive that, financially, we can’t keep it going.
How to Let Your Family Know You Aren’t Buying Gifts This Year
In early December the shopping season is already in full swing. Now is the time to openly communicate your gift giving (or non-gift giving) needs to your family. But how do you do it?
Be honest and share from your heart.
Honesty in communication is the way to go. Tell your family the truth about why you aren’t giving gifts this year.
If the expense of giving gifts to the extended family is not in the budget/too expensive, let your family know. There is nothing wrong with wanting/needing to reduce your expenses this holiday season.
If you are trying to redirect your focus to the true meaning of Christmas, tell your family.
You can tell your family if you are trying to simplify Christmas or simplify your work load.
If you are trying to reduce the stress of the holiday season, tell your family.
Try an alternative option if you want to reduce gifts, but not eliminate them.
If you still want to buy some gifts, try talking to your family about gift exchange options.
Can you and your family exchange gifts for kids/teens only?
What if you buy a family gift like a board game?
You can introduce the idea of picking names and each person buys only 1 gift for their “picked” name.
Explain the plan to your kids prior to Christmas.
This doesn’t have to be a secret. You can let your family know why you aren’t buying gifts for everyone. There is nothing wrong with wanting or needing to reduce the time and expense of Christmas gift buying.
Let your kids know what you are planning. If money is tight, that’s okay. Explain to your kids that you need to stay in budget. It’s financially responsible to teach kids about the importance of money and spending/overspending. They will be better off for it.
If you are looking to reduce your stress, let your kids know! They don’t have to think you are infallible. Let them know the work of gifting is stressful and you’d like to reduce that. Let them know you’d like to enjoy the holiday with your family instead of being run down before you even get to it.
Our happiest memories are not made from the pile of gifts we received in years past.
Think back through all of your happiest Christmases. Were you happy because of the pile of gifts? Can you even remember more than 1 gift that you received each year?
Chances are you may remember 1 gift each year because it was special to you. We don’t need abundance to be happy. Our kids don’t need it either.
Talk to your extended family about why this is important to you, your spouse, your kids. There may be some push back. Not everyone will understand or agree.
If you share your feelings from your heart, then you can walk away knowing you did the right thing for your own mental health and well being.
Counseling for Women in Canonsburg, PA
If you’re feeling overwhelmed this holiday season, take time for you and seek therapy. Therapy is a safe place for you to be yourself without judgement or criticism. It’s a moment for you and you alone.
If you are in the Canonsburg, PA area and have been considering therapy, please call (724) 503-6670 or email us at admin@inthenowcounseling.org. You can learn more about us here.
