Some men put on a tough exterior to push on through life. Inside though, these “tough” men tend to feel lonely but want connections. Why, then, do so many men feel lonely?
Small Support Networks
Men seem to have a smaller support system than women. Whether family or friends, the network of trusted people in a man’s life seems to be smaller than those trusted in a woman’s life.
Where many women will talk freely to friends, coworkers, and family, men stick to “safe” topics, like sports and outdoor activities. when conversing with others. This lack of open and honest communication contributes to the problem where men feel lonely.
Relationships Matter for Mental Health
Our relationships throughout life are important for our mental health.
With more work from home jobs, long commutes for those who do go in, and increased time in front of a computer screen, we are meeting with others less and less. We are becoming a less social society. As social creatures by nature, this is having a negative impact on our mental health.
Raising Boys into Men
From childhood boys are taught to “be tough”. This leads to years of learning that we don’t ask for help (even when we need it) and not leaning on a friend/family in times of stress.
When stressful times aren’t processed properly, this stress can lead to crisis. This is further compounded for men as they are left to feel lonely without any way to unburden themselves from the mental weight they carry.
Expressing emotions has become taboo for too many men. So taboo in fact that men may withdraw if another man expressions feelings. Unfortunately, this only exacerbates the problem.
What Should Men Do if They Feel Lonely?
Learn to trust. Look at your close circle of friends and family. Who in this circle do you trust? Find one, or more, person to open yourself up to.
You don’t have to spill your life’s story over 1 beer. But, open yourself up a bit. Allow some emotion to come to the surface. Don’t worry about saying the “right” thing. Don’t worry about the other person’s response.
Little by little you can let more out with those you’ve deemed as trustworthy. It’ll take time.
There is give and take in relationships. You may find yourself on the receiving end of someone opening up and sharing with you. Listen. Don’t interrupt. Be a good listener and be worthy of their trust in you.
Therapy for Men in Canonsburg, PA
If you feel you’re ready to talk, we are here for you. Therapy works, and you don’t have to do it alone!
Please take the first step to help and call us at (724) 503-6670 or email us admin@inthenowcounseling.org if you have any questions.
If you’d like to know a bit more about us, please check us out: Lucas, Maura, and Ashley. We look forward to speaking with you!
